What is Islamic Parenting
The root cause of today’s major social issues has strong connections with the current negligent parenting. Parenting and Islamic teaching have distanced now. If we analyze the parenting behavior around us, we will hardly find a few parents who think about education on how to be a good parent before they become parents. Today’s children are receiving a more careless demeanor upon parenting than ever before. Parenting, being a core area of attention, occupies a crucial place in Islamic parenting and teaching.
Negligent parenting meaning
Negligent parenting does not mean putting any effort by the parents into the upbringing of their children. This term applies when parents put their efforts in the wrong direction. Today’s parents equally wish their children to be most successful in all areas of life and they put their utmost efforts in this regard. But the problem arises due to not knowing the right direction. The desperate attempts to survive tough competitions in academic and professional careers have driven them far away from the glorious principles of Islamic teachings and the Islamic way of parenting.
Significance of Islamic Parenting and Teaching
The core objective of parenting in Islam is to make the children succeed in this life as well as in the life hereafter and to protect them from hellfire.
O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are appointed angels, harsh and severe. [Qur’an 66: 6]
This Quranic verse shows the significance of the supreme responsibility of parenting. Apart from this verse, there are many other verses of the Holy Quran and Hadiths of our Holy Prophet (SAWW) which show the importance of parenting in Islam.
Some basic principles of parenting in Islam
Now after having an idea about how parenting and Islamic teachings are linked to each other, let us know about two basic principles of parenting according to glorious Islamic teachings.
1. Children are born pure
The most important rule of parenting is to assume that all kids are born innocent and pure. There is a hadith in this regard in Sahih Muslim which is narrated here:
“No child is born except on al-fitra.”
All we need is to maintain their innocence and purity while they grow up. Children are the best imitators and they adapt very quickly to all that happens in their surroundings. Sometimes children do what we don’t want them to do, and we usually start scolding them and blaming them. We say that we never taught them to do such deeds. Such reactions harm their innate innocence. Because they do what they see you doing and they take such acts as good ones. The mind of children is like software where happenings in their surroundings are installed more quickly and efficiently as compared to your conscious sophistication.
Action required:
Never scold your child for any misbehavior, rather look into the matter by indicating the root cause of such behavior and set things right.
2. Build a strong connection with your child
First, seven years of children are called the foundation years and this duration is the most crucial one about parenting responsibilities. The shortcomings in this age cannot or can hardly be removed afterward. At this age, your child observes his environment and takes every happening in his surroundings as normal. Now it depends upon you what behavior he should take as normal. At this age, children cannot differentiate themselves between rights and wrongs. You have to be vigilant on what to feed as right in their software.
In this case, one most important things is to build strong connections with your child. Keep watch on his activities and thoughts and on the social behavior he is developing. The best time to correct him is when you notice any undesired behavior in the first instance. The rationale approach starts to develop in the early seven years.
If you ignore what your child perceives of happenings in his surroundings, it will create a gap between you and your child. Let us understand it with the example of a garden. If you leave your garden without proper care, you will notice the growth of unwanted herbs and shrubs here and there. Such undesired growth may harm the growth of plants you want to grow. Likewise, you need to check the mind of your child by building a strong connection.
Action required:
Discuss little incidents and everyday happenings with your child and try to read his mind. If you notice something undesired, correct it immediately with interesting illustrations.
Make your children Sadaqah e Jariya for you
We all know that Sadaqah e Jariya is a type of charity for which reward goes on multiplying even after our deaths. According to Islam, pious offspring is Sadaqa e Jariya for their parents. For this purpose, you have to put great effort into making your children righteous and pious. Supplication and pure effort are the best tools to achieve this goal. If we summarize the role of parents in one line, we can say that children are not only responsible for their parents but also an investment for life hereafter as well. This double role of parents is described in the Holy Quran as under:
And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and that Allah has with Him a great reward. (Qur’an 8: 28)
In the end, let us pray that Allah (SWT) helps us to fulfill our responsibilities as parents according to the glorious teachings of Islam and He may make our children Sadaqa e Jariya for us.